Fun with Language (long)

I've been studying Japanese for a couple of years now. I'm by no means fluent, but I know enough to get by. That's because the textbook we used at Soko Gakuen (literally San Francisco School) is made for adult learners of the language.

We didn't spend loads of time learning verb conjugations or parts of speech (at least not at first). The textbook is organized so that each chapter is a different situation. We learned how to greet people, how to ask for prices and count money, how to answer the phone, how to buy train tickets, how to shop, how to talk about the weather, that sort of thing.

I've been able to communicate with most shop keepers and waiters and other people by applying the lessons I learned from the textbook. However, it's when the situations vary from the script that I run into trouble (witness the Adventures in Dining post from a few days ago). I'm not great at improv in Japanese (yet).

Fortunately, most situations here in Japan do go according to script - and so it was that the day we all went to Kyoto, I found myself in a small coffee shop with Kathie, Rick, and Kat. Kathie & Rick sat at one tiny table (Rick couldn't even get his knees under it) and Kat & I sat at the other. We ordered cake - two slices, one for each table (keeki o futatsu betsu betsu ni oneigaishimasu [insert appropriate hand motions]). I ordered hot tea with milk (kocha to miruku), Kat ordered coffee with milk (kohii to miruku), Kathie - in a rare break from her "living la vida mocha" style - ordered tea with milk, and Rick ordered hot tea plain (kocha sutoreeto).

Of course, it wasn't as simple as that. Both Rick & Kathie changed their minds once or twice so I had to change their orders. In the end, the little old coffee shop lady - who seemed tickled pink that I spoke even a modicum of Japanese - confirmed our order with a string of rapid-fire Japanese that would put any auctioneer to shame and then finished with wakarimashita desu ka? (Do you understand?)

After pausing for a moment to let my brain finish parsing her super-fast speech, I realized with a start that Hai! Wakarimashita! (Yes! I *do* understand!) and we both laughed.

After we finished our snacks and paid, the little old coffee shop lady walked with us to the outside, smiling and waving and bowing. She seemed totally delighted that we had come into her shop that cold rainy day. We certainly were!

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A word about the way English is used in Japan: it's a phenomenon known on the web as "Engrish" - a perhaps politically incorrect term to use. There's even a website dedicated to it!

Basically, English is very chic in Japan and so it is used when advertisers want to give an impression of the exotic or mysterious. Witness Jason's pachinko sign in Osaka:



or this sign from an American-style hamburger restaurant near the Tokyo Dome:



or these sweets in Osaka:



(cat tongue? what?!?)

or these business names:





Sometimes English isn't used for ambience, but instead sincere attempts at translation go terribly wrong:








(I'm told that the other languages are translated equally badly - especially the Spanish!)

Back in the US, there has been a growing trend in the past few years to use Asian calligraphy to decorate anything from wall hangings to tattoos - and I have to wonder if we're not committing some of the same mistakes we see here!

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In other news, some people expressed disbelief about the types of pizza available here in the Japan. In response, I submit this photographic evidence:



The Japanese seem to really really REALLY love mayonnaise!